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Joke of the Day

"""Did it hurt? When you fell from heaven?"" ""Actually I think it was when you hit me with your car-"" ""WE GOT AN ANGEL OVER HERE!"""

"A priest and a rabbi walk into congress Te priest turns to his friend and says ""is this some kind of joke?"""

"A dog is a man's best friend. Don't belive me? Put your wife in the trunk, put your dog in the trunk, wait a couple of hours. After open the trunk and looks who's happy to see you"

"What's the last thing a stripper does with her asshole before starting her shift? Drops him off at band practice."

"Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands They are now known as the Islands."

"Me: I'm gonna make a salad Her: I think the lettuce went bad [opens fridge] [lettuce flicks a cigarette, hops out & pulls a switch blade]"

"How many Hipsters does it take to screw in a light bulb? Some obscure number... you've probably never heard of it....."

"What's dark, empty and going no where fast? Your love life."

"A farmer was counting his cows.... A farmer was counting his cows and initially only counted 196, but when he rounded them up he had 200."

"WAITER: what can i get you ME: what do you recommend WAITER: i recommend that you tell me what you want to eat"