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Joke of the Day

"So I entered an astronomy contest the other day... ...I didn't come first but I did get a constellation prize. :-)"

"For all of those that think alcohol is a problem... according to Chemistry: Alcohol is a solution. Thanks science!"

"whats the difference between the USA and a yogurt? If you leave a yogurt unwatched for 500 years it will develop its own culture."

"Old Italian guy is on his front stoop cooking a chicken on a rotisserie when a hippy walks by. Hippy looks up and says, ""Hey man. The music stopped and your monkey's on fire"""

"Puberty doesn't hit asians Their parents do."

"I'm no gynecologist but I know a c*nt when I see one."

"I walked into a room full of people masturbating They looked surprised when I didn't stop"

"My sister had a baby today. I think I've used that as an excuse to get out of more stuff this week than she has."

"It's like these credit card companies don't even care that I'm an electric accordionist for South Dakota's finest heavy metal parody band."

"My brother is so immature he was a stillbirth"