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Joke of the Day

"My sister had a baby today. I think I've used that as an excuse to get out of more stuff this week than she has."

"What is Bruce Lee's favorite drink? WAAAAAAAAAATAAAAHHHH!!!!!!!!!!"

"*hot lady looks at me* Me: Hi! Do I know you? Lady: No I think I'm mistaken. *awkward pause* Me: So...is there a mister taken? *hit by bus*"

"Wife said she was 'retaining water' and I said I'd wondered who drained the swimming pool. Been 4 days and I'm still hiding in the attic"

"I don't like telling people who have Beatlemania a joke. If they don't get it, they just won't let it be."

"How did Frankenstein's monster eat his lunch? He bolted it down."

"Scary Story Told In Only Five Words Your browser history is public!"

"When I was a kid, if I wanted to jerk off, I had to use a Sears catalogue But now, with the internet, when I want to jerk off, I can just go to Sears.com."

"There's no ""shame"" in ""glitter"", but there's shame and glitter on me."

"Why did the chicken cross the road? Dad, I'm over here."