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Joke of the Day

"Why does my 2yo insist on looking homeless when we leave the house?"

"I'm actually a really nice guy once you get to blow me."

"""I made $200.05 giving BJ's to people yesterday."" ""Who gave you a nickel?"" ""Everyone did."""

"For Sale : Used Facebook account ~ get up to the minute weather forecast, religious counseling and countless pictures of Jenny's cat."

"What do all Yale and Harvard students have in common? They got into Yale."

"I bought a fitbit... I haven't went running yet, but I jerked off for six miles today."

"A redditor posts a joke about a double entendre looking for upvotes. He never gets any."

"That one onion ring didn't end up in your french fries by accident. That's Burger King's way of flirting with you."

"Why did the Addams have the late man arrested? He was expected on Tuesday, but he came on Wednesday."

"If the US ever decides to change its currency from the dollar to the unmatched tupperware lid I'll be a very wealthy man."