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Joke of the Day
"I bought a fitbit... I haven't went running yet, but I jerked off for six miles today."
Next Joke
"How do you blind an Asian? With dental floss."
"What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? Lickalottapus"
"A blonde a brunette and Ellen Pao walk into a bar... This content has been censored by Ellen Pao because it was harassing her personal interests"
"What did Arnold Schwarzenegger say at the abortion clinic? Hasta last vista, baby."
"Why couldn't the skeleton go to the Christmas Party ? He had no body to go with !"
"(Not a joke) The Aristocrats I'm sure all of you had different forms or variations of The Aristocrats, but what's the best one you guys have heard?"
"What did a confused Mexican alphabet say? K"
"I woke up with a horse's head in my bed. And straw. And the rest of the horse's body. And cows. And a tractor. And this is a barn, I guess."
"Can't believe a woman would grow a life inside of her for 9 months and then name it Ian."