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Joke of the Day

"We're sorry Micky Mouse, but your wife being crazy is not reasonable grounds for a divorce! I didn't say she was crazy. I said she was fucking Goofy!"

"Set of jumper cables walks into a bar... The bartender looks them up and down really slow and says, OK, I'll serve you, but don't be starting anything."

"A man shows up to his psychiatrist completely naked but covered with saran wrap... Psychiatrist says, ""I can clearly see you're nuts!"""

"What's an archaeologist? Someone whose career is in ruins."

"I have two major flaws: 1. I'm very redundant 2. I tend to repeat myself"

"I've waited a year to post this This"

"I was in a 3rd grade talent show and told a few jokes. I quickly got escorted off the stage because I'm 30 and should be at work."

"My wife said she wanted to be treated like a princess So I put her into the back of a Mercedes and drove her into a wall."

"Q: Why were the Clintonites pushing the BTU Tax? A: Because they could spell it."

"Why did the Trump campaign order its followers to destroy all fax machines? They thought it was spelled ""facts."""