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Joke of the Day

"Did you know that Australians don't ever actually have sex? Because Australians mate..."

"What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time *door closes on way out*"

"J.R.R. Tolkien invented an entire language for the elves but where the hobbits live is called Hobbiton."

"[NSFW] What's the difference between acne and a priest ? Acne waits until you're 14 to come all over your face"

"I saw a man at the beach yelling ""Help, Shark! Help! I just laughed, i knew that Shark wasn't going to help him."

"I hope I'm not the only one who hovers over someone when they use my favorite pen just so they know I'm serious about wanting it back."

"I'm not a racist but. . . I fucking hate marathons."

"What's grey and never needs ironing ? A drip dry elephant !"

"What's the biggest type of tree? A Country."

"My favorite book is a Stephen King novel... but you've probably never heard of It"