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Joke of the Day

"I like my humor how I like my sex Dry and uncomfortable."

"Why is it bad to mix Islam and Hinduism? Because you might get Sikh"

"Someone at Sony Studios was arrested for having a bomb in his backpack. He was released after it was determined that it was the script for Ghostbusters"

"I instantly feel horrible when I judge someone, so I stopped. Now I make rational conclusions based on insightful observations."

"What does a cannibal do after dumping his girlfriend? Wipes his butt"

"Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great Food! No atmosphere."

"Mortgage Dream The dream of the older generation was to pay off a mortgage. The dream of today's young families is to get one."

"My autocorrect just changed ""I'm off"" to ""I'm DTF"" and changed a casual conversation with my boss into an H.R meeting."

"Making my kids homemade blueberry muffins. *opens package* *adds water*"

"I text this girl who was renting a room in my house ""I want to lick you out"" If she likes the text then I go with it, if not I blame predictive text and it was meant to say ""I want to kick you out""."