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Joke of the Day

"What did the elephant say to the naked man?.. How can you breath through that thing."

"FRED MONSTER: My sister must be twenty. I counted the rings under her eyes. BERT MONSTER: That's nothing. My sister's tongue is so long she can lick an envelope after she's posted it."

"What did the dick say to the balls? Hang out here while I go inside."

"If you didn't want me to wash my car on your lawn than you never should have turned your sprinkler on."

"They say you're only as old as you feel. Yet they'll arrest you for trying to feel a 12 year-old."

"SSBM players: what's it called when Fox McCloud and Falco Lombardi shoot up a school? Columshine"

"How many perverts does it take to put in a light bulb? Only one, but... It takes the entire ER department to get it back out."

"Waiter there's a fly in my soup! Couldn't be sir. The cook used them all in the raisin bread."

"What do you get if you cross Donald Trump with a reddit user? your mother"

"I keep thinking diarrhoea is part of the family history. Because it's in my genes."