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Joke of the Day

"Grandma used to say ""Respect yourself & others will too,"" but she also used to say ""Damn N*ggers,"" so I don't know what to believe :("

"How do you turn an airliner into a boat? #**Allahu Ackbar!**"

"A father and his son are watching their dog clean himself... Son: Don't you wish you could do that, Dad? Dad: Nah, I'm afraid he might bite me."

"A monk walks up to a hot dog stand he says to the cart owner, ""Make me one with everything."""

"I do not discriminate between white-collar and blue-collar workers Because I am collar-blind."

"Mechanic said I blew a seal... Technically, it was a sea lion, but more importantly, how did he even know?"

"What did Simba say to his dad when he was moving too slow? Mufasa!"

"I'm sorry guys Why can't Sally ride the swings? Cause she doesn't have arms. Knock, Knock, Whose there? Not Sally..."

"What do you call a man with no legs? You call him by his fucking name what's wrong with you"

"an elevator what can a elevator do but a mexican family cant. raise a child PLS IM NOT RACIST DONT HATE"