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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? He tried to work it out with a slide rule."

"I like my women like I like my sex partners... Female."

"Why could the crab not find a pair of shoes in his size? Child labor laws forced all the shoe factories to shut down."

"Did you hear about the Indian who drank 4 gallons of tea? They found him dead the next day in his tea pee."

"It's pretty amazing that I'm able to balance my two kids, my career as a doctor, and my pathological lying!!"

"Doctor Strange, Weird Al, and Oddjob walk into a bar... that's a very unusual event."

"What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter what you call it, it won't come."

"You really shouldn't anthropomorphize in animate objects. They really don't like it."

"New slogan for cats: ""Ever go to the zoo and want to snuggle a tiger but don't want to die? Cats."""

"So many girls look so cute and pretty when they cry then there's me where i look like a dying horse"