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Joke of the Day

"Reason number 347 why I hate Facebook: A guy from high school posted 11 new photos all with the caption ""me"""

"Cop: your under arrest Me: you're* under arrest 2nd Cop: [handcuffing 1st cop] sorry Ed, but he's right"

"Not having tattoos is suddenly a great way to express your individuality."

"What's the difference between crime and cybercrime? At the moment this joke."

"If I see under 30s getting married, I want to kiss them for their optimism and punch them for their stupidity."

"The bartender says ""sorry, we don't serve time travellers here"" A time traveller walks into a bar."

"Took my wife to the doctor today, to try and get her tourettes sorted Turns out that she doesn't have it, and I am actually a cunt and she wants me to fuck off"

"I almost got knocked out by a couple of celebrities recently.... Talk about seeing stars."

"A Russian comes to the Ukrainian border. The Ukrainian border guard asks, ""Name?"" The Russian answers, ""Boris."" The border guard asks, ""Occupation?"" The Russian says, ""No, just visiting."""

"""Fuck it"" - guy in charge of naming the hot air balloon"