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Joke of the Day

"The second I feel pressured to do something, I'm out of there faster than a dog who hears his name and knows it's bath time."

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"How long did Cain beat his brother? As long as he was Abel."
"What is the difference between a horse and a cabbage? I have never been hungry enough that I could eat a cabbage."
"Q: Why do women have tits? A: So men will talk to them."
"What do you call a midget in a Mental Asylum? I don't really know, but it sounds a little crazy"
"The liquid inside a fire hydrant is H^2O, but the liquid on the outside is K9P. Courtesy of schnauzers-rule.com"
"How many people does it take to screw a lightbulb? Just one guy with a really weird fetish."
"What do you get when you have Windows and Mac OS X dual booting from the same computer? A co-operating system."
"If you don't have a bucket list, then put ""make bucket list"" on your ""To Do"" list. nnYou don't have a To Do list?nnnnJesus, what ARE you?"
"Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was a repost."