123896

Joke of the Day

"I know we just got divorced, but would you mind showing my girlfriend how to make an omelet the way I like them?"

"What's at the centre of No Man's Sky universe? A refund. credit to /u/xROSSTHEHOSSx (saw it on another post as comment, thought it deserved own post)"

"Do the republicans shocked that Trump is their nominee also get surprised when they put cake batter in the oven and it becomes a cake?"

"""What did Shawn like most about his trip to Paris?"" ""He said it was lovely to hear the French pheasants singing the Mayonnaise."""

"What did the policeman say to his stomach? Your under a vest"

"McDonalds should have a 3rd window where you can trade in the wrong stuff that they gave you at the 2nd window."

"Knock Knock Who's there? Dishes. Dishes who? Dishes Sean Connery."

"Unicorns are extinct because they weren't horny enough. mind=blown"

"What's the difference between a feminist and a gun? A gun only has one trigger."

"The Seventh Sense: ""I can smell dead people."""