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Joke of the Day

"What would be a Jew's fighting stance in mortal kombat? Jew jipped you!"

"i'm really nervous about getting my girlfriend's pregnancy results back... and i'm not even the one who'll have to raise the baby alone!"

"You know its Monday when your left eye wont open and your right eye is twitching."

"Why did the archaeologist go bankrupt? Because his career was in ruins"

"A dyslexic poet that has a fetish for rim licks."

"Oh, your kid gets straight A's at school? That's cool. My son knows exactly what to do in case of a zombie apocalypse."

"Matt LeBlanc was just announced as the newest presenter on BBC's Top Gear It may be a challenge for him, on his last show it's like he was always stuck in second gear"

"Why would people always stand still to hide from Martin Luther King Jr.? His vision was based on movements."

"Gave my cat some almond milk and now she teaches hot yoga on Thursday nights."

"What did the clone troopers say after they killed Aayla Secura? Bye Felucia"