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Joke of the Day

"Sorry I yelled: BLESS YOU and handed you a tissue after you told me you loved me Blow your nose, it will pass"

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"How long does it take for a White woman to take a crap? 9 Months."
"Dolphins are the most philosophical of all marine mammals... They send most of their lives searching for a porpoise"
"Why is Islam called the Religion of Peace? It will leave you in pieces."
"My kids tell me I drink too much. It's funny they don't make the connection."
"Why couldn't the dolphin choose a career? She had no sense of porpoise."
"Knock Knock -Who's there? -The pilot. Let me in"
"I have to say, I prefer audio books to written books I don't know why. I guess they just really speak to me."
"There are two secrets to success 1. Never tell anyone all of your secrets 2."
"*waits for a sign* *dead bird falls from sky* *waits for another, better sign*"