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Joke of the Day

"Sorry I yelled: BLESS YOU and handed you a tissue after you told me you loved me Blow your nose, it will pass"

"How long does it take for a White woman to take a crap? 9 Months."

"Dolphins are the most philosophical of all marine mammals... They send most of their lives searching for a porpoise"

"Why is Islam called the Religion of Peace? It will leave you in pieces."

"My kids tell me I drink too much. It's funny they don't make the connection."

"Why couldn't the dolphin choose a career? She had no sense of porpoise."

"Knock Knock -Who's there? -The pilot. Let me in"

"I have to say, I prefer audio books to written books I don't know why. I guess they just really speak to me."

"There are two secrets to success 1. Never tell anyone all of your secrets 2."

"*waits for a sign* *dead bird falls from sky* *waits for another, better sign*"