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Joke of the Day

"A vegan, an atheist, and a cross fitter walk into a bar... ...everyone else leaves."

"I saw an advert for a 1 TV. It said ""The volume is stuck on full."" Well, I can't turn that down, can I?"

"Unexpectedly meeting a celebrity is cool, unless.... It's Chris Hansen."

"Having to hide your euphoria when a friend says ""I'm going to have to cancel tonight"""

"What's the difference between God and Donald Trump? God doesn't think he's Donald Trump"

"What did the cow say after hearing butcher's joke? You are killin' me man!"

"As my wife and three of her friends squeezed into the car after WeightWatchers.... I muttered under my breath, ""Fat fucking cows."" ""What was that?"" snapped my wife. ""You herd."""

"Apparently there's this guy who steals people's poops and ties them together.. I shit you knot."

"My husband's safe word is 'CRAMP!'"

"Day 20. Still lost at sea. Crew thinks I know how to plot a course with a protractor. I just like making it walk on the map. Pointy Leg Man."