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Joke of the Day

"Even the name ""OK Cupid"" sounds like you're telling love to, like, settle down."

"I greet all my daughter's boyfriends with, ""I used to molest guys like you in prison."""

"Insanity [insanity] (noun): Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results See Also: Going back to your ex"

"What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? One less drunk"

"What did the vinaigrette say to the refrigerator? Close the door! I'm dressing!"

"What do a country singer and combination of and SNL character and Jewish Comedian have in common)? Both would be called Garth Brooks."

"I bet the only thing more stressful than defusing a bomb is letting your husband pack for a big trip."

"I started wearing nicotine patches as a way of easing myself into a smoking habit."

"My girlfriend is a porn star I really hope she never finds out."

"THIS JUST IN: Foreign suppliers of shredded cheese on strike. Eyewitnesses report protesting workers holding signs that read: ""MAKE AMERICA GRATE AGAIN"""