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Joke of the Day

"ME: any advice DAD: its ok to embellish a little [later at job interview] INTERVIEWER: tell me about yourself M: i wrote harry potter"

"Happy birthday George Lucas. To celebrate we'll be removing the iconic happy birthday song from your party & replacing it with a worse song."

"What did the buffalo call his gay kid? His BiSon."

"Why is my algebra textbook so sad? It has a lot of problems."

"How can a woman avoid cleaning, cooking and oral sex for the rest of her life? Grow a penis"

"If someone is jogging at 7am on a Sunday - it's because they've just killed someone right?"

"Q: What did the leprotic john say to the hooker? A: Keep the tip."

"The people of Iran don't watch The Flintstones... but the people of Abu Dhabi do!"

"What's a moo hoo for a stuffed steer? A full bull!"

"""Dora"" only rhymes with ""Explorer"" if you're from Long Island, New York"