123592

Joke of the Day

"I downloaded ""ambient coffee shop"" track. Just low talking, dish clanking, & one lady yelling ""Finn. Look at mommy. FINN. You want a scone?"""

"What doesn't belong in this list : Meat, Eggs, Wife, Blowjob? A. Blowjob: You can beat your meat, eggs or wife, but you can't beat a blowjob."

"So a blind man walks into a bar. At least he thinks so."

"My girlfriend's got conjunctionitis It makes her 'ands swell up"

"Why are there so many Smiths in the phone book? They all have phones."

"You know it's love when you let her commit to your source tree without reviewing her code."

"Boss:Why is your voice gone? Are you ok? Me:*thinks back to me belting out Ariana Grande's ""Dangerous Woman""* I'm ok...allergies are bad."

"Difference between a Batsman and Batman? Batsman hits the ball. Out. Batman kicks the balls out."

"Why wasn't Jesus born in Detroit? Because God couldn't find 3 wise men and a virgin."

"What happened when a deadly rattle snake bit a witch ? He died in agony !"