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Joke of the Day

"Me: What's for dinner? Her: Chinese. Me: I will make the Duck Sauce. *catches duck *fires up juicer"

"What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday? Aye matey."

"What does a sheep, a drum, and a snake all say when falling off of a cliff? Baa-Dum-Sss"

"Why do college frat boys drink before bathing? Buds before suds, bro."

"So Helen Keller walks into a bar... And then a table, and then a stool."

"What do spies say in bed? Shh I'm undercovers"

"BABY COW: [points at human] What's that? OLDER COW: That is a milk dracula"

"What's a pirate's favorite digital image format? tARRRRRGa"

"I took a shop class in high school... It didn't make me a better salesman, but I did learn how to build a franchise in a way I didn't anticipate."

"Neither candidate addressed the fact that we have a Hulk"