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Joke of the Day

"What do a pizza delivery man and a gynecologist have in common? They both get to smell it, but they can't eat it."

"It's 100% legal to give cops the finger. But remember, it's also apparently 100% legal for them to shoot and kill you."

"Sheet manufacturers totally have us by the balls. What are we, not gonna buy sheets?"

"Dishwasher at work is like my girlfriend... It has everything it needs, but still beeps."

"My 4 year old is handing me one grape to wash at a time so breakfast should be served around midnight."

"Someone needs to invent an alarm clock that, if you hit snooze more than three times, will call in sick for you."

"Remember when there was nothing to check and no device to check it on and all you did was live your life?"

"What's the first step in making Bronco cookies? Beat em in a bowl for three hours."

"My neighbour knocked on my door this morning at 2:30 am. 2:30! Luckily I was still up playing my drums."

"What do you call a fat person with hemophilia? Diableedes"