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Joke of the Day

"Someone needs to invent an alarm clock that, if you hit snooze more than three times, will call in sick for you."

"Whats the difference between a truckload of babies and a truckload of bowling balls? You can t unload the bowling balls with a pitchfork."

"Texas - A man convicted of robbery worked out a deal to pay $9,600 in damages rather than serving a prison sentence. He gave the court a check--a forged check. He was sentenced to ten years."

"What do you call a man with a spade in his head? An ambulance"

"My Welsh mate was found dead yesterday. He died the way he would have wanted to go... He passed away peacefully in his sheep"

"Is it too soon for Michael Brown jokes? Thought I would give it a shot."

"What did the fish say when he swam into the wall? ""Dam"""

"No officer, my car was already upside down when I got here."

"What's it called when you go around looking for stuff to buy that's made in America? Antiquing."

"The worst restaurant in the world is ""wherever you wanna go is fine with me."""