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Joke of the Day

"Why are archaeologists the most polite kind of necrophiliac? They'll date you before they fuck you."

"I knocked over a horny marine on the motorway the other day. I was driving on the hard soldier."

"Recent studies have shown that 63% of women have used vibrators. The other 37% have brand new ones."

"Women are like mechanics. I have no idea what they're talking about."

"Whats green and fuzzy, but if it falls out of a tree, will kill you? A pool table."

"BREAKING NEWS: Miami Heat joins LeBron James."

"What's the difference between a washing machine and a festie chick... A washing machine wont follow you around all summer after you popped a load in it."

"Noah was the only man notified before Chuck Norris relieved himself in the Atlantic Ocean."

"A friend asked me, ""Did you know Isaac Newton died a virgin""? I replied, ""What colour?"""

"I don't believe in most conspiracies....but 7-11 IS an inside job."