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Joke of the Day

"A scottish man walks out of a bar..."

"What did the kid with cancer get for Christmas? Nothing, he didn't make it that far."

"Why are karate people always breaking boards? Did boards kill their parents?"

"I raised the alarm at work today. The midgets were all furious."

"They say if you love something you should let it go... So why am I going to jail for leaving my kid in Walmart?"

"How do you know when your girlfriend is getting fat? When she fits in your wife's jeans."

"I wanted to get a haircut today after work around 8:45... but they closed at 9, so that's cutting it close."

"I won the lottery for a million dollars today so I decided to donate a quarter of it to charity. ... ... I now have $999,999.75"

"When coining nicknames, be sure it reflects how that person has impacted your life. For example, my two sons Buzzkill and Third Mortgage."

"Super Irritating What kind of dogs use internet The ones we call dog-e"