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Joke of the Day

"What should I give your sister for unzipping? ...... Him : Um, ten bucks? Me : Like for WinZip. PS: Taken from bash.org"

"[visit to zoo] See kids? All these animals have to live here in cages because they woke daddy up early one time."

"I've been waking up with a headache for years Unfortunately I'm married to it."

"Why did the cop wake up his son? To stop a kid napping."

"Never treat someone like Coca-Cola when they treat you like Pepsi."

"How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it. I'm serious. That Israeli how he does it."

"Every time I delete a selfie, I imagine the sound of a Gremlin being burned alive by the sunlight."

"Q: Why was the blondes' belly button sore ? A: Because her boyfriend was blonde too."

"Is there a difference between men and women? Yes, there is a vas deferens."

"I told my friend not to cry over spilled milk. I mean come on, just because I spilled boiled milk over her"