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Joke of the Day

"My new girlfriend asked me how I felt about kids. With my hands was apparently not the right answer."

"What do you call a veterinarian that can only work on one animal? A doctor."

"18 goes into 40 more than 40 goes into 18 ( ~ )"

"The Exorcist (1973): a child is possessed by a demon. Hilarity ensues."

"Which part of a billiards setup can you use to clean your ears? The cue tip."

"A large hole was found in the middle of the city. Officials are looking into it."

"Why do skinny men like fat women? Because they need warmth in winter and shade in summer."

"I don't care which way you swing, guy wearing a Tapout t-shirt & Capri pants, but you've GOT to make a choice."

"I wondered why the train was getting bigger... then it hit me"

"*uses ipad as a phone* Hey look at me i'm a hobbit"