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Joke of the Day

"""The Force Awakens"" had 0 people riding giant CGI lizards. How is that even science fiction? They might as well rename it ""Downton Abbey."""

"Every Liam Neeson movie now is just him talking on the phone then killing people, right?"

"Life is like a box of chocolates... No one likes the dark ones, and the more white the others are, the richer they get."

"How many cancer patients does it take to change a lightbulb? One, and ten people to stand around clapping and saying ""Aww, how brave."""

"I mostly want a relationship so my boyfriend can chase me around trying to put an ice cube down my back as I demurely beg ""Dooooooooon't."""

"Good artists copy, great artists steal I wrote that."

"whats the difference between your sister and a mosquito? The mosquito stops sucking after you slap it"

"Limericks : Think this needs tweaking... There was a young man from Constantinople Whose limericks didn't always rhyme They finished too short."

"Why don't you hear any knock knock jokes about America? Because freedom rings."

"If you get sexted by someone you don't like...does that mean you got molexted?"