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Joke of the Day

"What's ISIS' favorite kind of discount? Blowouts"

"That moment when you gently throw your phone onto your bed and it decides to bounce off 3 walls, hit a lamp and kill a cat."

"I'm sorry son, but autocorrect keeps changing your name to Marty. That's your new name now, there's nothing we can do about it."

"Why did the cardiologist bake a cake with partially hydrogenated oil? Because he took the hypocritic oath"

"What is brown and sticky? A brown stick."

"I just had a call from a Charity asking me to donate some of my clothes to the starving people throughout the world. I told them to F off!! Anybody who fits into my clothes isn't starving!!"

"Twitter Taking the everyday boring shit and putting a much better funny twist on it."

"Have you read GANDOLF'S new book about GENDER identity? It's great! It's called ""YOU SHALL NOT PASS"""

"At least 12 dead after shooting in Paris Bet they never thought they would be killed from a magazine."

"I really didn't want to go the dermatologist... ...but my dad told me to face my fears! *thought of this while washing my face*"