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Joke of the Day

"Reverend have you been drinking? Just water, officer. Then why do I smell wine? Good Lord! He's done it again!!!"

"What's the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chickpea? I wouldn't pay money to have a garbanzo bean on my face."

"A joke my grandpa told me... Men start their life from between a woman's thighs, and they spend the rest of their life trying to get back... Talk about home sickness..."

"When a woman has tissues at her bedside, she has a cold. When a man has tissues at his bedside, he may have a cold."

"My girlfriend didn't believe me when I said I could make a car out of spaghetti... You should have seen her face when I drove pasta"

"What's six inches long, has two nuts, and gives women big bellies? Almond Joy."

"You are from russia, right? I mean, someone said he is putin his dick in your mom tonight"

"A girl just messaged me ""helpmyspacebarisntworkingcouldyoupleaseguvemeanalternative?"" Does anybody know what ternative means?"

"Man, you don't know how hard it is to quit smoking It's as hard as it is to start flossing - Mitch Hedberg I miss this man every day :("

"What idiot called them ""cannibals"" and not ""humanitarians""?"