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Joke of the Day

"I shot a Black Man the other day I got charged with impersonating a Police Officer."

"The number one piece of advice I could give to fish is to stay hydrated."

"What do you get when you cross a duck and a fire work? A firequacker"

"What does batman call his dick? Robin/Nightwing - depends how big it is"

"There is absolutely nothing funnier than yelling ""HE'S STEALING MY BABY!"" at a dad having a hard time with his kid in public."

"Typos... that's just how I role."

"I was having sex with a woman when her husband got home early She told me to use the back door and to be quick. I probably should have just left, but it's not every day you get an offer like that."

"What do you do when the dishwasher stops working? You tell her to get back to work."

"How do you make an apple turnover? Push it down hill."

"I went to the zoo the other day. They only had one animal; a dog. It was a Shih Tzu"