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Joke of the Day
"I had a third of a Mars bar the other day... All I wanted to do was rest."
Next Joke
"One time I walked in on my brother, masturbating. We locked eyes for what felt like forever. Then he yelled, ""Why the hell are you masturbating!?"""
"What did King Kong say when he saw the Statue of Liberty? ""Are you my mother?"""
"Here's another great thing about hot tubs [pulls out a bowl of fully cooked ramen from under the water]"
"They were going to release a Chuck Norris edition of Clue, but the answer always turns out to be ""Chuck Norris. In The Library. With a Roundhouse Kick."""
"If the shoe fits, wear it. And if these shoes belong to someone else, walk away briskly."
"How do we know Paul Walker had dandruff? We found his Heads & Shoulders in the glove box."
"The Energizer Bunny was found dead today from sexual exhaustion His battery was put in backwards and he just kept coming and coming and coming."
"What is 6.9? A wonderful thing ruined by a period"
"What is the only meat a Catholic Priest is allowed to eat on Good Friday? Nun"