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Joke of the Day

"Scientists say the average size of the male penis has gone down to 5 inches. This just shows how big the Chinese population is getting."

"When I was a kid, I was told ""If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all."" For the first seven years of my life everyone thought I was a deaf-mute."

"Came home to find my girlfriend packing her stuff... I asked her what she was doing, she says ""I'm leaving you, you sick peadophile!"" ""Peadophile! That's a big word for an 8 year old!"""

"I have just read an interesting dictionary. It had literally no metaphors. I'll ^show^myself^out..."

"We would have discovered the cure for cancer by now if we rewarded, recognized and respected our scientists just as much as we do our sportsmen and celebrities."

"To the girl who wore a white dress to the wedding I went to this weekend, good for you for not needing people to like you"

"The other day my buddy asked me if I wanted a warm Budweiser I replied, "" No its fine, I brought my own piss, ill just drink that. """

"Health insurance is rare for exotic dancers. Most strippers have little or no coverage."

"You know what the difference between an SUV and a rental car is? You can take a rental car *anywhere*."

"16 and Pregnant? How come I didn't get my own show when I was 16? ""16 and smart enough to use a rubber."""