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Joke of the Day

"Went to kill a spider with a rolled up newspaper and all it did was sit there and laugh at me for still reading a newspaper."

"Yo mama so fat.. she uses google plus(G+) instead of regular google"

"My mom wants to see 50 Shades of Gray with me... I screamed, ""OH HELL NO"" and suggested we see Cinderella instead."

"So my friend told me... So my friend told me that onions are the only food that can make you cry. So I threw a watermelon at him."

"Why did the scientist take off his doorbell? ...because he wanted to win the ""Nobel"" prize!"

"Have you guys heard about the new internet milk? It's for cereal."

"What mistake did the chronometer make while it was getting along well with the digital watch? It asked the digital watch for its hand in marriage."

"I remember my first sexual encounter. It was really a frightening experience. I was all by myself!"

"What's the best trade a palindrome has ever made? A nut for a jar of tuna."

"I like my women like I like my trail mix... With nuts."