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Joke of the Day

"Plato walks into a bar. And he realises that the bar is not a real bar. In fact, it contains the concept of 'a bar'. Then, with an amazed face, he says: ""This bar is ideal!"""

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"Name dog. Call dog every derivative of that name but the actual name."
"[first day as a coroner] me: he died at 11:42AM detective: are you positive me: it's hard with all this death but i'm hanging in there"
"What happened to the Oklahoma Territories? I don't know but they're OK now."
"What's a homophobic congressman's favorite place to swim? In da Nile"
"Did you hear the energizer bunny was arrested? He went to court and was charged with battery."
"*Takes your face in my hands* *Looks deep into your eyes* *Whispers ""You make me want to spend the rest of my life avoiding you"" *"
"What do native American and modern day American society have in common? Navaho lot."
"How do people in wheelchairs propose?"
"For today. * Knock knock. * Who's there? * 9/11. * 9/11 who? * [You said you wouldn't forget](/spoiler)"