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Joke of the Day

"I was in bed last night with my wife. She turns to me and says ""If you turn the lamp off, I'll take it up the arse."" I should have waited for the bulb to cool down."

"What do you do when your mother-in-law is swaying towards you? You pull the trigger again."

"Both of my marriages have been disappointing. My first wife left me and my second one didn't.marr"

"Origami You never realise how good you are at it until your toilet paper starts running out"

"Jokes about white sugar are rare, but brown sugar? Demerara Source: [This tweet](https://twitter.com/OFalafel/status/428595146905886720) by [@OFalafel on Twitter](https://twitter.com/OFalafel)."

"Where do twin lesbians meet up? A Clone Dyke Bar."

"I've spent three hours investigating this chicken and I still can't find his nuggets."

"Why didn't anyone drive stick in Soviet Russia? They were afraid of Stalin."

"What did the Swedish chef say to his girlfriend when he found out she was pregnant? Abort - Bort - Bort!"

"What has two thumb drives full of porn and forgot his laptop was hooked up to the projector?"