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Joke of the Day

"Why was the tumblrina mad at the gamer? He was pushing the right trigger."

"Trump keeps talking about restoring ""law and order."" I dunno about you, but I'd rather vote for a candidate who wants to restore Firefly."

"What is the best use for a wet dog?[x-post from /r/MeanJokes] Getting the smell of white people out of your house."

"How many members of Coldplay does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just one, but he has to see Radiohead do it first."

"Who performs the most assisted suicides. Youth in Asia."

"The Energizer Bunny was arrested. He was charged with battery."

"Guns don't kill people. Wars and famine and disease and random accidents kill people. Also, sometimes guns. Have a good day!"

"whats the best way to go cliff diving? without the body of water"

"Journalists love covering Lindsay Lohan because what she is to actresses, they are to professions."

"I got into an accident a few days ago. The doctor said the bleeding was all internal. I said ""oh, thank god."" The doctor said ""why are you so happy?"" I said ""that's where the blood is supposed to be!"""