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Joke of the Day

"What is the best use for a wet dog?[x-post from /r/MeanJokes] Getting the smell of white people out of your house."

"6.9 is worse than 69 because... it's interrupted by a period."

"What type of punch hurts kids the most? A sandy hook"

"I ought to start doing more with my weekends than just sit at home drinking beer, jacking off to porno mags and playing minesweeper. I do enough of those things at work."

"*standing outside your house I was totally going to stalk you but... *pets your dog instead"

"What type of underwear does a fetus wear? Fruit of the womb."

"Where do detectives go to have a drink? The Search Bar."

"What did the cheese go as for Halloween A muenster"

"Steal your neighbors' garden gnome. Send them a series of photos of the gnome lurking near various truck stop men's rooms."

"How do you tell if a feminist is on their period? You can't."