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Joke of the Day

"Democrats get back at the Republicans on their Christmas list by giving them fruitcakes. Republicans re-wrap them and send them to in-laws."

"These quad copters just can't seem to leave the news... The media and hobbyists just keep droning on and on about them"

"How did the hipster burn his tongue? He took a sip of his coffee before it was cool."

"What can I get you to drink? ""Pepsi"" Is Peps- Uh one moment please [In kitchen, to manager] I don't know, he just said Pepsi. What do I do?"

"Why does your blood rush to your head when you're upside down but not to your feet when you're right side up? Your feet aren't empty."

"When my friends come over they know to ask ""may I sit here"" and then we look at my dog to see if it's OK"

"""anything new with you?"" not really ""any cool projects at work? nope ""meeting with friends?"" no ""seeing anybody?"" why are you doing this?"

"I told a joke to my Chemistry teacher. He replied ""Oh man, I slapped my neon that one"""

"95% of parenting is using your sock as a mop."

"If you throw a ping pong ball in the air, no less than 45 Chinese people will materialize to catch it & start a tournament."