172014

Joke of the Day

"once I asked my dad if we could plant a bread tree in the yard & later that night I overheard him & my mom talking about ""sending me back"""

"Two men were in a courtroom... One was charged for eating battery acid, the other was charged of sticking fireworks up his ass The court charged one, and let the other off"

"What do you do with 365 used condoms? Melt them down into a tire and call it a good year."

"What did the people call the bad hot dog stand? The WURST!"

"The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes."

"You know you're ugly when... someone hands you the camera for a group picture and you still break the lens."

"wife: Why is 9 crying? me: Because it's raining and he's getting wet wife: But we're at a water park me *takes a drink from my flask* Yep"

"My girlfriend sometimes complains about how painful her period cramps are.... I told her to shut up, that's her fault for being a woman"

"How many Serbs does in take to change a Lighbulb? It doesn't matter..Theres a Blackout!"

"How do people at rodeos heckle the riders? Moooo!"