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Joke of the Day

"[last supper] drunk jesus: *swinging baguette wildly* You want a piece of me!?"

"You say pigs can't fly... but swine flu!"

"choose one to drop: 1. acid 2. bass 3. out of college 4. the assault charges 5. that thun thun thun"

"How were you conceived? Daddy came on his shoe and kicked mommy in the ass. Or Daddy came on the wall and mommy ran against the wall."

"If Chris Redfield worked pest control... It would be called Resident Weavile."

"I just put on a Apple sticker to my Toshiba laptop.. .. so it's now called a Macintoshiba!"

"Who is Kanye West's favorite running back? All Day nigga"

"I found a wallet today and as a good Christian I thought ""what would Jesus do?"" ... so I turned it into wine."

"What do you call a baby born feet first? a c-section."

"I'm not lazy... I'm just on my energy saving mode."