36766

Joke of the Day

"choose one to drop: 1. acid 2. bass 3. out of college 4. the assault charges 5. that thun thun thun"

"What do you call a Pokemon with a STD? Vulvasoar"

"How many computer programmers does it take to change a light bulb? Are you kidding? That's a hardware problem!"

"If you play a Windows Vista disc backwards, you can hear satanic chanting... ...what's worse, if you play it forwards, it installs Vista."

"I opened a company selling land mines that look like prayer mats Prophets are through the roof"

"Good to know that if they ever release a lion in Walmart you only have to run faster than the fat lady with the zebra print pants on."

"I came up with an excuse for being late I was marching with Martin Luther King, but then some firemen mistook us for fire and tried to put us out; that's why I was late sorry."

"Why did the cow sign up for TSA precheck? Butterflies"

"Coworker: ""How was your weekend?"" Me: ""You know, they killed Socrates because he asked too many questions."""

"What is the difference between a washing machine and a girl? A washing machine doesn't follow you around after you dump a load in it."