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Joke of the Day

"How do you sell a chicken to someone who is hard-of-hearing? HEY!!! DO YOU WANT TO BUY A CHICKEN!?!?!?!"

"I'm going through a phase of categorizing my life in phases. I call this one my 'phase' phase."

"So a pirate walks into a bar, he has a steering wheel on his crotch. The bartender goes: ""What are you doing with that thing?"" The pirate responds: ""Arr, its been drivin' me nuts."""

"I like to ask girls if they wanna take a shower with me then hand them a ski mask and drive to Lowe's."

"Interesting fact - 80% of people inside a Radio Shack have no idea how they got there or how to get out."

"Alcohol increases the Send Button size by 89%."

"Are you a geologist? You can analyse my rocks anytime ;)"

"As a mark of respect to Lou Reed I have had his initials inscribed on my headphones. -Daft Limmy"

"I met a Mexican with two dicks He called one Jose and the other Hose B"

"In a physio waiting room amongst athletes comparing their stories. I can't wait until my turn when I tell them I slept wrong on my pillow."