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Joke of the Day

"In a physio waiting room amongst athletes comparing their stories. I can't wait until my turn when I tell them I slept wrong on my pillow."

"What do you call a broken fisherman's calculator. Something fishy that doesn't quite add up."

"I met a new girl in work today, and she was a vegan I've never seen herbivore"

"That awkward moment someone begins a tweet with ""that awkward moment"" & I slap their face with my dong."

"When I grow up... Growing up I wanted to be a gynecologist. I could almost taste it."

"If Trump wins the election and replaces President Obama... ...orange will be the new black."

"The worst part of seeing a spider in the shower was the way it covered it's eyes when it saw me."

"I was once raped by a gang of mimes. They performed unspeakable things to me!"

"""Why buy expensive fireworks when you can make your own with ordinary household chemicals?"" I said, and the other patients in the ER agreed."

"Some people are like Slinkies... They're not really good for anything, but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs."