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Joke of the Day

"Where was the Declaration of Independence signed? At the bottom."

"What's the most unsatisfying prank?"

"What do French people call a bad Thursday? A trajeudi. I'll escort myself out now....."

"What does an arctic wildlife photographer get from sitting around too long? Polaroids. ^I ^know, ^that ^was ^god ^awful."

"""So you know how girls have XX chromosomes and guys have XY chromosomes?"" ...Asked the biologist. ""Well I want you to be my Y, cause I'd hate to ask you to be my X."""

"I once stood 2 Twix bars up. Allahu Snackbar! (It was originally ""Allahu Akbar"", but u/Disagreeing_Man made it funnier.)"

"Sunbathing on the beach, the wife came up to me asked what I thought of her flip flops? Bloody horrible I said ""Put your bikini top back on"""

"What did the scarecrow say before committing suicide? ""That's the last straw!"" *^I'm ^sorry.* [UsagiMimi](http://www.reddit.com/user/UsagiMimi/) helped me refine the wording."

"Deleting your Facebook is the new regaining your dignity."

"I dropped my nokia in the toilet didn't bother me since it's always been shitty."