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Joke of the Day

"The only way I'd ever get to ""bang"" a hot chick, is if I run up to one and slam her head into a wall."

"[spelling bee] Your word is 'arrogance' ""Can you use it in a sentence?"" Of course I can, don't be stupid"

"Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? He had no body to go with."

"What is a pirates favorite letter? Arrrr, but his true love be the sea"

"Sometimes I look at myself in the mirror and wonder, ""Do my children just spit directly at their face when brushing their teeth?"""

"One way to tell if what you're watching isn't really news is if the person is shouting at you."

"My lifetime stats are pretty average until you move over to the Donuts Consumed column."

"""As seen on tv"": Get two pieces of crap that don't work for the price of one."

"How did the lawyer chip his tooth? The ambulance slammed on its brakes."

"Why are so many people obese these days? Because burgers are$.99 and salads are $4.99"