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Joke of the Day

"Why did the girl who worked for the telephone company sing all the time? Because she was an operetta (operator)."

"What's the difference between a pregnant lady and a light bulb? You can unscrew the light bulb. - Steve Martin, ""My Blue Heaven"""

"How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb? Seven. One to install the bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years"

"Best pick up line I've ever heard Would you mind holding my beer while I go take a shit? ....If she is still standing there. She's a keeper!"

"Recently scientist found an actual biographical journal of Rip Van Winkle And the rest is history"

"What's faster than the speed of light? The speed of *how fast my wife jumps to conclusions*"

"A vampire could've photobombed every picture you've ever been in and you will never know"

"Murdered for immortality. Received life sentence."

"""Gotta wake up early"" *sets alarm for 5am* *wakes up at 4:55am to cancel alarm* *goes back to sleep*"

"Henry Miller said, ""The best way to get over a woman is to turn her into literature."" That explains ""Kim is a kunt"" on this restroom wall."