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Joke of the Day
"My 4yo just came into the living room, crying, ""I don't want Santa to see me when I poo."""
Next Joke
"ER Dr: What are you doing? Me: I'm decorating. ER Dr: Why? Me: According to my bill I live here now."
"How do you tell if your girlfriend's ticklish? You give her a test tickle."
"A policeman pulled me over today after my wife fell out of the car... He said ""Sir, did you know your wife fell out of your car?"" I said "" Oh thank god! I thought I had gone deaf."""
"What is black, autist and takes about 9 months to grow. Non of your concern."
"Matthew McConaughey's car can't make left turns. This is very dangerous. He should get that repaired"
"[2048] President Khaleesi Smith decrees that the words of the Star Spangled Banner will be changed to ""Land of the fleek & home of the bae"""
"My girlfriend broke up with me, because she hated me singing Linkin Park songs all the time. But in the end, it doesn't even matter."
"Why do women have orgasms? Because it's just another chance for them to moan."
"Saw a couple wearing surgical masks in public and all I could think was ""what do they know that I don't?"""