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Joke of the Day

"I got fired from my job because I smile too much! I said, ""If I can't smile while I work then get yourself another funeral director!"""

"Why is president Putin so hard to rape He won't stop putin up a fight."

"Happy Fourh of July ""Hey England, Happy Fourh of July."" ""Where's the T?"" ""We threw it in the harbor."" Merica."

"[1st date] Her: I love quail Me: Omg me too! H: Love Cher M: Omg me too! H: Love men Me: Omg me too! H: Love Pepsi M: WTF is wrong with you?"

"""What did you do?"" ""Genocide. You?"" ""I shared a 10 Funniest Autocorrect FAILS on Facebook."" - Conversations in Hell"

"just saw someone I love eat pizza with a fork & knife and this just really goes to show that people are monsters and you can't trust anyone"

"I had a joke about eating girls out... but apparently it left a bad taste in too many people's mouths, so I had to delete it."

"Of course, Tony the Tiger isn't his real name. It's Lord Antoine le Tigris of Kellogg."

"Have you seen that sexy taser? She's stunning."

"First witch: Here's a banana if you can spell it. Second witch: I can spell banana. I just don't know when to stop."