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Joke of the Day

"really old joke based off a video game from the 90's What are the three certainties in life? ( Thank you for spellcheck on google chrome ) 1. death 2. taxes. 3. you'll hear this joke sooner or later"

"Got a blowjob from a blind girl last night... ..or at least I think it was a blowjob, it was dark and my bionic cock doesn't feel shit."

"When people ask how my childhood was, I say ""Pretty good, so far."""

"What did the clock do when it was hungry? Went back 4 seconds"

"My dad was cutting up onions and I started tearing up. Onions was a great dog. :'("

"Two Bedouins were in the middle of a desert. When one gets something blown into his eye. His companion takes a look at his eye for him and says ""Hold still Abdul it might be sand."""

"What did the statue say to the chair? Chair? Statue?! :D"

"Chuck Norris Sperm is so tough, girls have to chew before they swallow."

"Yo momma smell so bad.... I can smell her retronasally."

"Why are men smarter than women? Because two heads are better than one."